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Well it looks like the...eh, he can't really be called a handsome prince...toadlike thing has returned. Makes taking the sweets that I still have left from before the holidays not such a good idea, doesn't it? Happy New Year's and all that.


Bah humbug. Well, someone needs to say it.


That's it. I cannot take it anymore. I'm tidying up the sixth year boys' dormitory. First thing to be reorganised is Rolf's sock drawer.


Only two more days left of term. And wondering why the hell JD is acting so weird. Less than two more full days in fact. And my first class isn't until eleven. There's nothing wrong with black coffee for breakfast after all. And I do have these chocolates that Anthony Goldstein got from a Gryffindor.

I will get up shortly though. The cello calls.


Actually I think I will stay in bed after all.


One of them came across our path as we were leaving for supper this evening. Fortunately Herbie Willis is much taller than me, and will be looking for an equally tall witch to help him out of his plight. Good luck to him is all I can say.

Oh, and Robins, I've finished your songs. Yes, I got creative so you have two for the price of one. The first is a bit more of a rocker and is not to be played outside of the Gryffindor common rooms, for obvious reasons. The second, well, I think you'll see the humour in it and know not to take it too seriously, but it's a compliment nonetheless.

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Thank Rowena that's all over and done with. Forever for the seventh years. Another year for me. Or maybe not.

I think everyone's going to be talking about this one for a while afterwards. Those Gryffindors and Slytherins have a way of seeping into everyone's thoughts even when they're not doing anything.

Seeping. Hmm, that's a watery word...


I've just had a brainwave. You know how Verity is so fixated upon seeing everyone happily ever after? Well, perhaps she would be less like that if she was actually - I don't know - in a relationship? Couples tend to be so self-fixated that they don't notice much of the world around them anyway, so all that would happen is that she'll forget about the miserable lonely souls out there and go on about how wonderful life is and how she's a much better and more giving person all due to finding her soulmate.

Couples claim to be less selfish than the rest of us, but the reality is that they're more selfish. Have you ever walked down a footpath with a couple coming towards you, and there's ample room for people going both directions to pass in single file, yet you have to walk on the grass because the fucking couple can't separate themselves for each other for those three seconds to allow you to pass? Because their vital organs have swapped over to each other and they'll literally die or something if they release hands. That, or they're just bloody arrogant and selfish. I'd knock them out of the way, but I always seem to be forced onto the grass on the side of the girl. I'm almost beginning to think they plan it like that.

Being a couple gives you the licence to be rude. It doesn't happen so much with blokes as the girl tends to go over to their friendship group most of the time, but girls are always getting shafted when their friends hook up and then seem to be expected to pick up where they left off when the couple inevitably split. If I was them, I'd just tell them to fuck off. Couples also feel the need to take off half the hallway when they snog and force everyone else to go around them, and while groups of gossipping girls can be pricks too, single people in groups talking together are more likely to move out of your way. And if you dare complain about a couple, you're accused of being a prude or not respecting their feeeeelings towards each other.

Which brings me to: what the hell do you do about PDA? If you look away, you're also a prude. If you look towards, you're a pervert. And encroaching on their personal space. Because the Great Hall is completely a reasonable area to expect and demand personal place. Damned if you do and damned if you don't, basically.

Single people just are more giving in general, I find. Couples may claim to be more unselfish, but that unselfishness is concentrated towards only one other person. To the wider spectrum of humanity they're bigger arses than what they were before. But we're supposed to accept it because they've found true love. For the next two months and a bit anyway. Big deal. So much for "true love" is all I can say.


I've finally figured out how to make my darling mother and father let me leave school early. I'll tell them that I'm queer. Not peculiar queer. The other sort of queer. Because it's every parent's worst nightmare to have a homo kid locked away in a boarding school in the middle of fucking nowhere. Particularly a boarding school where I share a room with actual boys.

So, who wants to be my boyfriend? The Head Boy seems to be having troubles with old Galleon-digger Travers so I was thinking we'd kill two basilisks with one stone and hook up out of convenience. Though it might be better if it was someone from Ravenclaw house, who I could therefore conceivably be bonking. Any takers? I'll even buy you flowers and chocolate on Valentine's Day. Actually, make that flower. I've decided I'm going to be one of those blokes who buy single roses to be classy when really they're just too tight to fork out for an entire dozen.
Name: Merton Graves
Gender: Male
Date of birth: November 22, 1978
Year: Sixth
House: Ravenclaw
Blood status: Pureblood

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